Mon, March 20, 2006
Sex group pokes nose into political bedrooms
By LISA LISLE, TORONTO SUN
Valerie Scott of the Sex Professionals of Canada thinks things may have gotten kinkier at 24 Sussex Dr. (CP file photo)
Sheila Martin might be one lucky lady.
While the Sex Professionals of Canada (SPOC) may not like her husband’s politics, Paul Martin’s potential in the sack gets top marks.
“As much as most (not all) of us loathe Martin’s politics, the general feeling is this guy is one hot (lover),” reads SPOC’s assessment of the former prime minister on its website.
With so many serious topics — bad dates, the decriminalization of prostitution, etc. — on their meeting agendas, Valerie Scott of SPOC said the ladies wanted something fun to talk about and began musing on the talents of politicians.
“When you’ve been in this business awhile, you can watch people and know what they’re going to be like in bed,” Scott told the Sun, noting Martin’s confidence gives him the edge as a potential lover.
But since the election, SPOC suspects the master bedroom at 24 Sussex Dr. got a little kinkier.
While Scott doesn’t expect much from seemingly straight-laced Prime Minister Stephen Harper in terms of decriminalization of prostitution, she and her colleagues suspect he’s not so conservative behind closed doors.
Not exactly an endorsement, the website speculates that Harper is a “dirty boy,” who will ask you to do “weird things.”
With the upcoming Liberal leadership race, SPOC plans to update its rankings with its assessment of each candidate.
So far Bob Rae is a favourite — politically and sexually.
“If you watch him move, he’s self-assured, he’s confident in his body,” Scott said.
Belinda Stronach was the only possible replacement for Martin already assessed.
Guessing she’d be “boring,” SPOC suspects she’d be like “an amateur dominatrix.”
“She figures she deserves it all now and doesn’t have to be bothered learning about it and/or working for it,” reads the website.
In fact SPOC questioned the ability of many other Liberals to deliver an orgasm.
“I’ll make it up to you, I promise,” SPOC said of Premier Dalton McGuinty, clearly making a jab at his lack of follow-through.
Yet those on the right didn’t fare any better.
Slamming former-premier Mike Harris’ policies on women’s issues, SPOC suggested he might be a little selfish in bed.